Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Am Still Waiting For This Lady-Part Three

                                             A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
                                             Its loveliness increases; it will never
                                             Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
                                             A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
                                             Full of sweet dreams, and health, 

                                             And quiet breathing.
Life doesn't move on expected lines and definitely not when you are desperately waiting for something to happen in your favor..
My attempts and exercises to draw the attention of that gorgeous lady went for a toss and I was almost breaking down with desperation..
We used to come to the bus stop everyday and almost at the same time…
Everyday she used to come wearing dresses in Rainbow colors,occupy her throne,look at the surroundings,look at the buses going to and fro,and finally look at me with all the disinterest in the world and then used to turn her head away..
She used to board her bus and we used to board our bus..
That is all..
What is so interesting in this and I started feeling that “..there is no more boring thing than this in this world..”
Life had become a hell of a routine for us..
The damn disinterest that she was showing towards me was burning me down internally..
Gosh..don’t I possess anything special to impress a beautiful girl..
Am ok handsome,an upcoming great cricketer and a reasonably good singer and actually many in the college cricketing circles and my friends enjoy my cricket and singing too..
So what’s wrong with me yaar..
I shouted at my friend..
He very politely told me..
“You are just an average good looking guy but no John Travolta for girls to drool over you,And great cricketer..??? are no popular cricketer like Kapildev or not even Karsan Ghavri..and as far your singing is concerned you are slightly a better singer than those street children who sing on railway why should any girl fall for you buddy..may be some girls give some preference to guys who have bikes..but you roam around the city in a city bus like a fatichar,and at any point of time never had more than thirty rupees in your pocket.. so my dear,to impress any girl you should at least have a bike”
With a confirmed thought that he is taking advantage of my predicament and only highlighting my negative points I pounced upon him with some of the most pungent unparliamentary words ever used in the history of foul language and screamed at him…
“….abey idiot how can I get a bike dad will hang me upside down if I ask for it..
think and shoot a better idea,otherwise pray to God..Today shall be the last day of your life you bloody @#$%^%$#@%…”
A great friend that he is..he held me tightly and told me with more politeness in his voice this time..
“Listen re..You are a good cricketer ok,but no one is killing each other to see you playing in an ordinary league match in Hyderabad on a Sunday,so she can’t come to see your batting..even if she comes at least by accident,there is no guarantee that you perform well..because whenever you bat,you put your team under more pressure than your opposite team,and no one knows when you are going to get out or when you run your non striker out..And it will be a colossal tragedy if she sees that sort of a mishap..”he paused..
Because am aware of my greatness and my negative popularity in Cricket,I asked him in a weak tone“Abey,why are you torturing me so much you bloody sadist @^%$ there no other option to gain her attention..???”
He thought for a minute,looked around,scratched his head,then looked at me,smiled and said
“There is only one option left for you..and as I think it should work..”
“What is that..????Shoot it”,I shouted..
 “Wait..let me complete..Of all the qualities you possess there is one quality that is slightly above average and that may attract her..Am talking about the quality of your is better to display your singing talent before is also the easiest method..every girl will fall for good singing..start singing in bus stop from is the only option left for you or else may God bless you”
That stupid advice irritated me a lot and after some more bashing asked him…
“Abey @;^%*^$#@saaley do you want me to do a live concert before her from tomorrow..???..”
Still remaining composed he said…
“..Who asked you to do a concert..never do that..she may think that we are  urchins and may put some change in our palms or else she may think that you are a mentally retarded destitute boy and report to a mental asylum..instead just sit quietly on the iron bar in the bus stop and without looking at her just hummm a tune of a song..just a mild hum..ok..remember it should be a hindi song and not a Telugu song..if she is a north Indian she may think that you are chanting prayers in the bus stop when you hum a telugu hum a hindi tune mildly,very mildly which should be audible only to her and not to the whole of university..and during that humming pretend as if you have not noticed her should appear to her that you are a Bal Gandharva sitting there in a world of your own and practicing music..I think this trick works and should impress her..Good luck”
Nodding my head I asked“..What if it doesn’t work..”
This time he lost all his patience and by displaying an ugly gesture by closing the fist of his right hand and further waving it towards me..
He said..
“@#(^%$*^&#!@..Bewakoof,we have seen this formula work in the popular hindi film PADOSAN..Girls should fall for good when it worked there, it should also work in your case...but idiot,remember this is only a hypothesis and not a theorem..”saying so he almost kicked me after that..
I  was upset but my friend appeared like Kishore Kumar in Padosan..(With this great quality of analysis,study and composure this dearest friend of mine later went on to become a globe trotter and earned a big name for himself in the fast paced corporate world of Bombay and we are still the closest friends to each other today and shall remain so forever for a life beyond life…Amen)
I know am not fully convinced, but I have still decided to adopt his formula because I know that it is better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it..
Next day was a Sunday and on the following day I have decided to display my singing talent in front of her..have seriously practiced a few popular Hindi songs in the bath room,my normal place of practice both for my Cricket and singing..
Luckily I got a whole day to sharpen my skills and I want some one to judge my singing..Wished to call the friend who gave this great idea,as he stays nearby...but dropped it quickly because am sure his father will be at home on Sunday and shall burn me alive on a fry pan and chew me away during his drinks if I disturb his son on a Sunday..
So what is the alternative..I searched the whole water,water everywhere and not a drop to drink,there were people and people every where in my house but not one to judge my singing talent..
I was only left with a middle aged demure and expressionless servant maid..she could not refuse my request as am her boss’s beloved son..I took her on to the stair case,made her sit comfortably..Later closed my eyes and started singing a wonderful number in Hindi..
"Jeevan se bhari teri aankhen,
majboor kare jeene ke liye.."
I was very much convinced with my singing and slowly opened my eyes with the anticipation that she is going to honor me with a standing ovation..but I was shocked to find a lifeless and tasteless expression on her face,ready to go the moment I leave her..
Then I told myself that..” shouldn’t try to teach a monkey to sing,it doesn’t work..and it may actually annoy the monkey…”
And finally I have mustered enough courage and decided to do what am best in doing…
Continued In "Am Still Waiting For This Lady-Part Four"

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